Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
