We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
