your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We are two peas in an std pod
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
