i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
