hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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