i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
