Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I want to have your abortion
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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