remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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