alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
