Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I understand Curling. That high.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
