i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
this will be a night to untag.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize