I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
