Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I need to calm my uterus...
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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