we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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