turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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