y did u give ur computer a hand job?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
