Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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