party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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