Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
