Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
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