If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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