they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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