so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
