you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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