I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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