He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
