It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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