I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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