Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
