Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
