I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
