i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Come share oat with me in your robe
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
