After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
