Can i not drive my cunt home
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
