sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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