We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My breasts were aching with rage.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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