miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
