***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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