I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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