Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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