life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
