Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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