quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
