Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
