Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Randomize
