I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
