and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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