He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
