oh god the rape fog is back!
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
