why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
This is classic penis vs brain.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
