you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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