I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
